Chantico -- Another form of motor oil

So, drjenivere  and I were in Boston last weekend and after walking about half of the Freedom Trail, we had to stop for something warm (something about not having operable legs seems to do that to you).  Stopping by Starbucks and feeling like we've burned the 2400 calories or so required to consume a beverage, I set off to order a Chantico.  Unlike inkyblue2 's review of Chantico as being similar to a simple powdered hot chocolate, I would like to post my own review:

Imagine this flavored like chocolate:  http://www.pennzoil.com/products/motor_oil/synth_blend.html

Badness indeed.  As I drank it, I had flashes to the Pepto Bismol advertisements that show the medicine coating your esophagus and stomach lining.  I feel like I could actually feel the Chantico's viscosity and it preventing engine wear upon startup.  I believe 6 ounces of this stuff was no match for the 2400 calories I burned on the Freedom Trail.  I think I actually gained weight.

Chantico:  1

Stomach:  0